A Personal Note from Pallas

​I am typically a private person when it comes to family issues. I try to keep my personal life separate from my business. After my cousin died and again when my grandmother died, I made generic statements about appreciating the support and respecting privacy during the grieving process. Today, I am going to share more about them and about a more recent loss. 

I saw my mother's heart break yesterday.  I held her as her world fell apart, as if the tighter I hugged her, the fewer pieces would fall off. She still hasn't said the words out loud, said that her baby boy has died. My brother was 40 years old and he didn't wake up.

I won't pretend that my brother and I were close. I have other siblings that I am closer to. His death hits me differently than it does my parents and his kids (ages 14 & 18). They are suffering. My career is built around helping people in pain but I cannot help my family. I can​​not reverse engineer this to find a solution. I am helpless and I am angry. His death was unnecessary, preventable even.

My brother was not a healthy man overall. He was overweight, possibly clinically obese; I'm not a doctor so I can't say for sure. He had high blood pressure and sleep apnea. He had a cpap machine. The exact cause of death will be determined on Tuesday by an autopsy. Funeral services will be arranged and clients will be rescheduled as needed to accommodate. 

My grandmother (89) had begun to slowly decline. Her death in April 2022 was devastating to me because of how close we were but it was not a tragedy. She had lived a full life and I believe she was ready, even if I was not. Her death was not preventable. 

My cousin (41) accidentally overdosed in November 2021. He had a back injury that led to an opioid addiction. I could have helped him, if I had known, if I had followed up, been a better cousin. He mentioned the back pain in passing. I could have offered him a non-opioid option for relief. I didn't know the extent of it, or about his addiction. While still a painful loss, I do not hold myself responsible for this tragedy. His death renewed my passion for pain management because his death was preventable. 

My brother's death will serve as more fuel. I have, through my years in business, created an audience and have a platform to share information, to educate. If I can spare one family from going through what mine is going through right now, then this oversharing email is worth sacrificing some of my privacy. 

What I want you to take away from this: Don't put off taking care of yourself. Don't miss your future, or your children's future, by ignoring your health today. 

This is not me touting massage as part of your self-care routine.  Massage isn't the only option. Start with the basics like movement, nutrition, and hydration. Follow through on recommendations by your doctor. If you have something going on with your health, do not ignore it. Put the work in to get yourself to a healthy place. Your parents, your children, your family (biological or otherwise) want to make memories with you, not to re-live memories of you at your funeral.